LINK:  www.gawker.com

You are boring. Case in point: you read a website with a section devoted to The Hamptons. The majority of websites are intended to be a waste of time. Most even proclaim it with self-deprecating glory. But Gawker is a waste of time passed off as legitimate journalism.
-Julius



Your average Gawker reader is a slightly overweight 24-year old, female, Jewy (note: she may not actually be Jewish, but she at least strives for similar personality traits) marketing assistant in a "boutique" Manhattan "firm."  She lives in the Upper-East side with two of her sorority sisters from Syracuse.  She absolutely loves the fact that she doesn’t need to wear a “uniform” to work, and so prides herself on her urbanista fashion sense.  Because of her competitive drive to be both hipper and classier than all of her peers, she tends to eat at a lot of “Asian-fusion” restaurants and only orders white wine when out at the bar.

Unfortunately, she is not very smart.  She is more enticed by frivolous celebrity scandals and the crazy antics of gay people than about meaningful world events.  That is why she likes Gawker.  She can find out that Sarah Jessica Parker was spotted at the same supermarket that she goes to (OMG!) and yet if any of her co-workers happen to spy her computer screen, she can go on naively believing that her refined reputation will remain in tact.  The best part is that later that night she can shyly mention a Gawker headline regarding a new book or the current problems with Wall Street that will hopefully make her seem more informed and she can fulfill her lifelong dream:  finding a hedge-fund husband. 
-PSmiths