LINK:  www.fark.com

You are part of the New Internet Mavens... of 2002.  Drew published a frickin book.  A BOOK.  On paper of all things.  And an elite board of Total Farkers are the ones who greenlight links?  They're inventing the clichés as they go along.  You looked up Ric Romero on Wikipedia and have at point typed the words, "I, for one, welcome. . . "  You are proud of how much you masturbate or 'fap,' but if you've actually attended a Fark Party you were still hoping to get laid.  Driving home alone that night your realized what an utterly ridiculous notion that was—and simultaneously—why a woman's warmth has been just a notion for so long.
-Sergej


Vegas Odds:

You have a job  3:1

If you do have a job, it entails you sitting in front of the computer all day  1:1

You have checked Fark (and perhaps even joined the community) out of sheer boredom and the yet unspoken need for someone to tell you what to do and how to think  3:2

If you had any of the following in your life, you would be more likely to visit Fark consistently:
A significant other  10:1
Password to a porno site  8:1
A more advanced version of Adobe Photoshop  1:1 
A job  10:1
Any sort of daily responsibilities  12:1
-Jii