Dude, why did we stay here again?

Just chill out man.  Remember my friend who used to live here told me that if we wanted to see the REAL Las Vegas that we should check out the “IP.”  Besides, aren’t you getting drunk on these cheap drinks?

Well yeah, I guess.  But this place blows man.  It smells like cigarettes and old-people farts, I haven’t seen one hot girl, and the celebrity dealers are starting to scare me.

Stop bitching.  We don’t need to spend a lot of time here in the hotel, and we’re getting a crazy deal on our room.  

Yeah, but seriously man, this place SUCKS!  I’ve seen more Jacksonville Jaguars t-shirts than tits and I’m afraid that I’ll get hepatitis if I touch a slot machine.  

(Laughing and sipping beer approvingly) Yeah, that’s true.  I guess that’s the real Vegas huh?

Shut the hell up about this “real” Vegas crap!  I don’t even know what that means!  What does “real” Vegas mean?

Well it’s the white-trash, gambling degenerate epicenter of the Strip.  That and the fact that we, as low-budget college students, are forced to stay here in this shit hole if we want to afford a central location on the Strip.  But whatever man, it’s not like we’re actually going to get laid here in Vegas like how the TV commercials imply.  We are poor college students with nothing to offer a woman other than our lies.  So we’ll simply tell the girls tonight at the club that we are actually staying in the Bellagio.  That, my friend, constitutes the “real Vegas!”

(Awkward silence)

I hate you so much.
-Stil