If you are male:  You see yourself as “better than.”  Believing yourself to be on a more advanced  level than most of your peers, you understand the importance of subtlety: when putting “only a quarter-size” of “man product” into your hair; or only spraying on six squirts of Acqua di Gio when going to the gym, or not unbuttoning your Sak’s Off Fifth purchased button down too low; or keeping a modest amount of stubble on your face when going out; or not “over-tanning” when going to the salon; or gently trying to constantly convince your friends that you are not homosexual but just don’t like “clingy bitches hanging on [you] all the time.”  

If you are female:  You rarely smile.  You are too thin, have copies of Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar meticulously spread on your coffee table, and although you convince yourself that you enjoy sleeping with the guys mentioned above, your empty bottles of Xanax and KY Jelly may suggest otherwise.