No one is really sure why Christina Aguilera’s biggest fan base is the demographic of “effeminate, halfway out-of-the-closet, college guys.”  I mean if they were completely gay they’d be listening to Madonna or Mandy Moore.  But, with Christina there is still the slight chance that these pomade-wielding, Mavi jeans-wearing, germ-fearing, many-strictly-platonic-girlfriends having, young metrosexuals may still like women.  After all, Christina is banging a weird looking, non-celebrity Jewish dude, which gives any straight horny college guy a glimmer of hope.  

Openly stating that you like Christina Aguilera is an easier and much more graceful way of saying "I'm into S&M, leather, and maybe asphyxiation." Even now that's she's the darling of riverboat-jive instead of the head-mistress of some Thai sex dungeon, she cant seem to shake her fetish appeal. So next time you hetero-guys want to say go for the butt or something, whip out the new Xtina cd and kinda wave it in her face for a second, ya know, give her a heads up to where things are going. If she's a naughty girl she'll already have it in the CD player... actually if she has a CD player get the hell out of there, that bitch is a gold-digger looking for a daddy to get her a new Ipod. I've seen it before. As for the gays, Xtina is a real mood killer as it could lead to vogue-ing.
-Knuckles