I always thought it was so swell when Mom picked out my clothes. Each day, she 'd lay out a prairie skirt and size 16 sweater, and tell me I was beautiful in her eyes as she watched me dress, ensuring to put on my undergarments correctly so Frankie the Bully would be less felicitous at hiking them up in the middle of the cafeteria. My mom was the best. She even constructed velcro adjustments to all of my Keds so that I would never waste time bending over in the hallways to tie them, when someone cooler with thicker-soled shoes was almost always bound to kick my ass.
-Chottie