Life Progression of "Average" Urban Outfitters Customer:

Born between 1978 and 1986 in a safe, suburban area that was close enough to the "city" that your parents felt a connection to the sports teams, but far enough outside the city that allowed you to live in a reputable public school district and never really drive in for "cultural reasons." You were not necessarily special in any way.

Junior High: You had grungy clothes and dressed like everyone else in your class. You listened to Green Day, Pearl Jam, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. You were not necessarily special in any way.

High School: You grew out of the grunge phase and entered your Gap/Abercrombie phase. If you were a little more artsy you'd wear the brightly-colored shit, but you still listened to Dave Matthews Band and radio rap. You were not necessarily special in any way.

College: You likely went to the large state school where half your high school class also went (read: closest to your parents house). You joined a fraternity/sorority during your freshman year (even though you never really considered yourself the Greek type). You got really drunk for three years and started to tire of the "scene" during your senior year and longed for something a little different. You traded in your fraternity party CD's for some starter-kit Indie Rock such as Modest Mouse, Postal Service, and Sonic Youth. At this point you felt a longing to be a little different, but were not necessarily special in any way.

Post-College: You moved to the city closest to your parents' house and have a respectable, but typical, job that makes your parents feel content. You share a modest apartment in the hip area of town with a friend and already know all the good happy hour spots. You have a yearning to actively define your generation and constantly dream of the day when you and your college friends will start your own internet company and be just like the guys on Entourage. Yet, you have a desire to be a little artsier and more "in tune" (whatever the fuck that means) than your college friends and have found salvation in Urban Outfitters. Urban Outfitters was the answer to your prayers to the retail gods that allows you to be edgy, intelligent, hip, and independent all at once. Finally, with your kitschy coffee table books, "vintage" jacket, and super-soft "Friends don't let friends live in Ohio" t-shirt, you are special. Finally.
-Vincent Face



Urban Outfitters:  Making thrift shops, garage sales, and your parents' closet obsolete since 1970.
-Jersey Boy