If you are still wearing Lacoste right now, chances are that you picked up your little alligator shirt three years ago - thus making you a predictable trend follower. Yes you. Plaster yourself in one of your pastel colored Lacoste polos and hit the bars with your hair gelled to the nines alongside your clubbing wingman best friend. Why does he always have to wear a Lacoste polo too? Come on guys split up the days. You need to grant equal visitation rights (remember your childhood), and please, please, please don’t both pop the collar.
-Tad Landon



Hey dad. Uh, remember about ten years ago when you were cleaning out your closet and you found a whole bunch of your old Lacoste shirts from the 70’s? Yeah. Remember you offered to give them to me if I wanted them – but I said no and told you that only “faggy people” wear pink shirts with alligators. Yeah. Um… did you ever throw them away? Because, like… I guess I’d like to take a look at them now. I mean my friends say that it’d be cool for me now if I wore Lacoste – but I’d be made fun of a few years ago… you see? Oh, you did? You donated all of them to the Salvation Army. Yeah, I see. Ok. Hmmm, no worries. Well, then can I borrow $200 to buy a few of them at the mall?
-Jersey Boy