Damn it. All of this stuff here in Macy's is such crap. I thought they were supposed to carry nice stuff here. Thanksgiving Day Parade my ass. Ha, you know… that would be really funny… imagine if they made a giant float of my ass and carried it around in the parade… that would be hysterical. All of the guys would be pointing and I'd be all like… Christ! Come on Bildo concentrate. You're here for a pair of jeans… so let's just get a pair and get out. This sucks though, what am I going to do with this coupon… I don't even know any of these brands and I don't want to walk around with like… you know… like some stupid, no-name brand on my ass or something. Bildo stop talking about your ass and let's go over there to that section… Wait. Hello. Calvin Klein. I've heard of Calvin Klein… that's supposed to be some nice stuff right? I mean they used to be cool… right? I mean they had all those ads on MTV with the heroin chicks and what not… so do people still wear this stuff? I think I hooked up with some chick once who was wearing CKOne and she smelled gross. But, the jeans look nice enough… but I don't want people to make fun of me if Calvin Klein is no longer cool. Who can I ask? There is a cute girl, maybe I should ask her. No Bildo, you'll look like a total doofus. I mean, does CK really go out of style? OK… just concentrate. When was the last time that you saw someone wearing Calvin Klein? Hmmm. 1998 maybe? Shit, I can't remember. Oh wow! These jeans are 50% off, so I guess I have to get a pair… right? I mean that's a pretty good deal right? Damn it Bildo, why don't you read the fashion section in the Maxim Magazine when you take a dump instead of just looking at the naked pictures?!
-Jersey Boy