Bill, a retired Naval lieutenant, walks with his wife and 16-year old gay son as they are on their “college tour” visiting potential universities.  As the wife and son chirp to each other about how “serene” the campus appears and all the open-minded activities available, Bill lets his mind wonder.  Having given up on his son long ago, he just figured to let him pursue his dream of being a writer or some hogwash.  However, now as he walks through the campus he looks hungrily at the sheltered, pretty, bookworm girls wearing patchwork gear.  If he could do it all again, maybe he would have gone to Vassar and just “cleaned house” sleeping with all the girls he could as the ONLY guy on campus that knew how to throw a football.  But then as his son and wife come over and say how they want to go get smoothies, Bill realizes that Vassar used to be a ladies college - so his fantasy would have been impossible.

I went to Vassar, and it was the best four years of my life, full of incomparable experiences and yada yada. But where it really makes the difference is after school when you are looking for a job and everyone thinks you are fuckin' Walden or something. "Oh Vassar eh?! You must be all smart AND philosophical."

This is a great college to go to if you wanna get fucked up and "experiment" ...a few times... and then enter the real world as a super genius with mysterious liberal arts powers.

However you do have to deal with the question: "isn't that an all-girls school?" all the time from stupid fucking idiots. What do they want me to say? "yes, moron, it IS all girls, i am one of those rare girl to boy trannies, thanks for pointing it out!!!"
-Knuckles