Game-time clothing due diligence:

Kobe jersey. 

You have a brief concern that too many other people at the stadium will be wearing Kobe jerseys.... but you inevitably convince yourself that it is better to blend into the crowd with the Bryant jersey, because wearing a jersey with any other team member’s name on the back would be weird.  The Shaq Lakers jersey hangs in a corner of the closet… you still haven’t gotten around to selling it on Craigslist yet. 

Match the jersey with form-fitting, ripped jeans (preferably the new Chip and Peppers that you purchased from the Camarillo outlet stores, or the True Religions that you bought at the last warehouse denim clearance at the convention center).  You have a brief concern that the jersey may hang too low over the pants and can’t see ALL the rips and fades in the pants.  Just make sure to tuck the front part of the jersey in order to also reveal the Fred Segal-purchased belt.    Accessorize with Donald Pliner shoes and Bulgari watch. 

You have a brief concern regarding your timing because you want to get to the stadium early enough to get a good parking spot and not parade your expensive jewelry through the downtown area. 

Stand in front of the mirror fretting over which head accessories to wear.  The oversized Dior sunglasses are a definite yes (the lights get bright in the stadium); but what about a baseball cap?  Perhaps the ole' USC Trojans cap?  A baseball cap would cover up the recently enhanced hair highlights, however wearing one would make you seem more mysterious (and perhaps more people will think that you are actually a modest celebrity trying to hide appearance). 

Yell at wife (at least your second marriage) that you do not have time to stop at Pinkberry on the way to the stadium.

Remember to bring cell phone with Internet access so you can learn the names of the players on the team while stuck in traffic on the 10.