UNC is like the chubby retard at your local pool, deliriously joyful that his abnormally large head is above water, yet seemingly oblivious to the fact that the large, orange inflatables on his arms are the sole reason he’ll get a chance to pass on his extra chromosome (well for at least 30 years or so). Yup, just substitute the “NC populace” for “chubby retard,” “pseudo-prestigious state universities” for “local pool,” and “northern students” for “swimmies” and the analogy is tight as a drum. It is difficult to respect a university that, six years later, still waves around its head like a helicopter and is violently hatefucked by its natural and geographic rival in almost all categories of measure. I mean, just go to Duke. (What? New Jerseyians? Filled with ‘em? Our bad. +1 reader.)  - AVAIL