Kansas is the embarrassing wart in the middle of the United States’ face. No state has done more to encumber our country’s great scientific, intellectual, and foreign policies. That being said, how the hell can any reasonable person possibly respect someone that willingly went to the premier academic institution of Kansas? Most executives should be afraid to hire anyone from UK (even at the lowest levels) for fear that their land-locked myopia will hinder the company’s progress.

HOW TO IDENTIFY: Afraid to have pre-marital sex because by passing along their genes to a new generation there is a possibility that a chromosome might mutate and thus “evolve” their offspring. - PSMITHS