Syra-Jews. Simply sums up the majority of your Four or more
likely five years of Middle-class parent funded education in the "Long
Island of Upstate New York." Join a sorority/fraternity-  you'll have
a much better shot at finding your J-Date soulmate with out actually
having to go on the internet.(Your mom offered to pay for the
membership anyway.)The School mascot is the Orangemen clearly because
of the amount of students that sport the orange glow of a fake tan.
Imagine how stunning that looks against the bright white of the first
snowfall of the year (August 29th).  All of your professors work Part
time in "the City" and stay in seedy motels funded by your tuition
dollars. Their feelings of inferiority do nothing to further your
education.But there is nothing like the scratch of well manicured
nails  on your back and the smell of Jet black hair dye after a long
night of binge drinking at the bars and puking on the steps of your
frat house.
-JD

You are from an upper-middle class, yet non-pedigree New York family and wanted to be in an urban New York environment.  So, after NYU rejected you, you change your tune and realize that you’d rather root for disappointing sports teams, binge drink at fraternities, and cope with frost bite.  Are you one of those Syracuse kids that believed they had a little extra flair because they hung in the city of Syracuse and not just on campus?  So bad-ass!
HOW TO IDENTIFY:  Working as a PR assistant in Manhattan while wearing extra outrageous urban clothing to compensate for having to wear winter-hardy gear while at school. 
-Hank is Tanked